Homesick

The Mercy Me song Homesick came out RIGHT after our accident. I remember the first time I heard it. I was driving home from downtown on the interstate. The music started and then the first line.... You're in a better place I've heard a thousand times.... I knew at that moment this song would greatly effect my life. The tears began to flow and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I went out and bought the cd that week. I memorized the words faster than any song I've ever heard. I guess because it hit me so hard and I identified with it so well. I love that song so much that I can't even tell you what my favorite part is! But the bridge of the song really convicted me and has helped me find some direction through this fog... In Christ, there are no goodbyes, and in Christ there is no end, so I'll hold on to Jesus with all that I have to see you again, to see you again....
One of my dearest friends in the world, Niki, gave me the book written by Bart Millard that goes along with that song this summer. She had no idea how much I loved the song! I went to get my cell phone right then to play her my ringtone.... I close my eyes and I see your face.... Anyway, I was looking through the book and again I found feelings on my heart that needed to get into words....

homesick? wow....
is that the churning
i'm feeling right now?
the sluggish feeling
that keeps me still
that overcomes my strong will?
i feel like my soul is frozen
can't move or be moved
is this the life i've chosen?
i should be looking forward
charging on ahead
but here i stand in concrete shoes
thoughts racing through my head
homesick? i just don't know
is that the way to describe how
i'm pushing back against the flow?
God, you've always said my home's with you
now everything's been stripped away
i see you always knew
i want to talk to her
kiss his face again
so take me Father, take me
if not right now, when?