Not ready....

Not bloggin much? Well, not here... In my head, though, constantly. I've got so many posts rolling around in my head, but I haven't typed em out. I wonder why? Probably fear. Fear of what? I don't know. Having people know what's going on in my head or having to face it myself?
I have come to a realization over the past month. I'm ready. I'm ready to do something, anything different. Different job, different state, different people, a different guy in my life. An almost great relationship in my recent past awakened in me a need I'd been suppressing for a long time. It's just not simple enough to put into words, but I guess if I had to it would probably sound a little codependent. ( So you can stop reading now, Niki.) Intimacy warning ==== I need to be wanted. Wanted emotionally, intellectually, wanted physically. A few weeks ago, I was told by a man (for the first time since Kyle's been gone) that I was beautiful. I forgot how incredible those words made me feel. I was not just happy or flattered, but I felt empowered... lovable even. I miss that. And it's not something my friends or family can do for me. I guess what I'm saying is I'm ready for a relationship. I'd consider getting serious if the right one came along. I'm ready to start dating again. God help me!