support

Again you've shown me what friends are for....
This past week has been crazy, so even though I've seen my offender, I haven't spoken with him. When we do speak, I intend to let him know that he owes me an apology. I don't expect to receive one, but I will be asking for one nonetheless.

It's been very encouraging to me to check my blog and find comments from those of you that love me so much that you would threaten to physically harm someone you don't even know because he hurt me. At the same time encouraging me and reminding me that God loves me and Satan hates me. I know that he keeps feeding me lies. I try not to listen and believe, but it's hard sometimes. He has a way of wearing you down. So I need you to tell me of God's unending love for me. You have on so many occasions and I thank you for doing it once again.
I'll keep you updated on the offender's status.
Love y'all....

Devastating....

I'm sick. Upper-respiratory and ear infections. Lovely. I average 1 or 2 a year.... this is the first I guess.
My student is doing better. The hugging thing is really working for him. I'm not saying there won't be bad days, but when I anticipate his anger and hug him and talk to him calmly, he starts to settle down and makes better choices. I hope it only gets better with him.
Today I had a devastating moment. I was in a discussion/argument with someone, and they aimed way below the belt. Without getting into too much detail, this person made a comment that basically blamed me for causing our accident and therefore Kyle's death. It was said in a moment of frustration and trying to shut me up. He made it sound like a decision I made was the reason it happened. Needless to say I was totally caught off guard and shocked. I ended up walking away in tears.

I've struggled everyday with guilt about what happened. I know that nothing I did or didn't do could change what happened that day, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle with the guilt. I've tried so hard to not play the 'what if' game. But that doesn't mean his statement didn't hurt.
What's worse is that I have to face this person everyday at school. I'm the mature Christian of the two of us and must act as such. How do I do that when what I really want to do is physically harm him?