Kyle, my loving husband

Today is the day I’ve been dreading for months…. Today marks the one year anniversary of our accident. It was one year ago today that my life as I knew it was shattered. Everyday since, I wake up and look for my husband in bed beside me and am reminded he’s not there and never will be again. Everyday I relive at least a little bit of the anguish I felt that day when I realized he was gone. BUT, everyday God has picked me up out of bed, and pushed me into life. Everyday God has held the pieces of my broken heart in his hands. Everyday God has brought people into my life to bless and be blessed through me. Everyday God has been my provider, my comforter, my sustainer.

Today I could write about what I’m going through and all the pain I feel, but today I’d rather tell you about the man God placed in my life. The man I loved first as a friend then as my husband.

Kyle James Allender ~ I remember the first time I spoke to Kyle on the phone…. We’d been set up. He had my number, and I had his, but being the old fashioned girl I am, I awaited his call. The first thing he said to me on the phone besides “Hi, I’m Kyle,” was “So, you wanna go on a date?!” I realized then I was going to have my hands full with this one. I kindly explained to him that we needed to talk some and get to know each other before I was going to get into a car with this strange yankee!
We talked once a week for three months before we finally went on our first date. Our first date… I decided to be brave, and follow in my mother’s foot steps, and cook for him. He drove down after church one Sunday morning. I’d made my ‘famous’ chicken’n’dumplins and a chocolate meringue pie from scratch. I was later told by him that was totally unfair! (My mom said she could hear me reeling him in.) When he arrived, he handed me a big bouquet of beautiful yellow roses tipped in dark pink ~ my absolute favorite! My first reaction was “You didn’t tell me you had a goatee!” Up until then I hadn’t cared for facial hair of any kind. Funny how fast I changed my opinion! We watched a movie after lunch, and went to church that evening so my friend, Yolanda could check him out. Afterwards we went to dinner and I remember thinking as I watched him interact with the waitress that this guy was way too obnoxious and loud for me. He took me back to my little apartment and we hugged goodnight. I went to bed that night asking God what he had in store for me and this man who was a little rough around the edges, but definitely had potential.
The next day was the longest day of my life. First thing in the morning, I got a speeding ticket. Great start, huh? The rest of the day was waiting: waiting to get home so I could wait for him to get off work, so I could wait for him to call. Do you know that jerk didn’t call me? He didn’t call till WEDNESDAY! (Okay, ladies, you know what I was thinking.) Once he did call, we had a great conversation, and talked for over 3 hours…. the first of many long phone calls between Indy and Lafayette.
The rest of our dating life was unbelievable. Kyle was the sweetest guy I’d ever met. He was so attentive and romantic, but not in the mushy way. He was chivalrous, and just treated me so well. At the time, and still now, I couldn’t believe how wonderful he was.

Kyle was an incredible man. I’ve never known anyone like him. He absolutely could not tell a lie. He was honest, trustworthy, and loyal.
He was extremely strong. Kyle stood 6’2 with broad shoulders. He was tough as nails and stout as an ox.
He was tender with me. He was a generous lover. He considered my feelings before he opened his mouth. I know that whenever he made decisions for us, he always had my best interests at heart.
Kyle could fix anything. He was a bodyman by trade, but was working as a subcontractor when he passed. He was an experienced mechanic, electrician and talented woodcrafter.
He was so sensitive to my needs as his wife, and communicated freely with me about his needs as my husband.
Kyle was slow to anger, slow to criticize, and quick to praise.
He loved children and they adored him. I’ll have to tell you about his “little motorcycle buddy and boat fixin buddy” another time.

I could go on and on about the incredible man I was fortunate enough to call my husband. God blessed my life immensely through Kyle. As painful as this last year has been, I wouldn’t have missed loving him for the world.

I love you, Kyle. I always will.

See you soon…