Devastating....
I'm sick. Upper-respiratory and ear infections. Lovely. I average 1 or 2 a year.... this is the first I guess.
My student is doing better. The hugging thing is really working for him. I'm not saying there won't be bad days, but when I anticipate his anger and hug him and talk to him calmly, he starts to settle down and makes better choices. I hope it only gets better with him.
Today I had a devastating moment. I was in a discussion/argument with someone, and they aimed way below the belt. Without getting into too much detail, this person made a comment that basically blamed me for causing our accident and therefore Kyle's death. It was said in a moment of frustration and trying to shut me up. He made it sound like a decision I made was the reason it happened. Needless to say I was totally caught off guard and shocked. I ended up walking away in tears.
I've struggled everyday with guilt about what happened. I know that nothing I did or didn't do could change what happened that day, but that doesn't mean I don't struggle with the guilt. I've tried so hard to not play the 'what if' game. But that doesn't mean his statement didn't hurt.
What's worse is that I have to face this person everyday at school. I'm the mature Christian of the two of us and must act as such. How do I do that when what I really want to do is physically harm him?
posted by angi at 8:52 PM
6 Comments:
You know what we think...as per our phone conversation.
You are not to blame for the accident. I hear you saying it, but I wonder if your heart knows it.
I love you Ang. I know you'll handle this just fine! You can do it! I believe you're stonger than you think you are!
{{{Hugs}}}
The verse that came to my mind right away (recognizing that these comments were from an evil source) was
Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Maybe that will help you to walk in love toward this man that was obviously being used to try to bring you down.
Praying and knowing that God will bring you comfort and peace.
ditto to manatee!!! If its who I think it is he is screwed up enough the way it is maybe that is his punishment for being a butthead.
My friend Clay would say just hit him where the bruises won't show.
I'm sorry this happened, that was completely out of line, I don't care how frustrated he was.
I'm with Niki on this one, Angi, you are a very strong woman. God has given you a very strong heart, trust in the strength he has given you. Know that we are always here for you.
Love you.
I'm with manatee if you want a gang to beat him up and send him packin'.
Yet, my prayer for you is that you will believe the truth of God's Word and it will be a balm to the wounds of your soul.
Don't forget that our enemy can even use other believers to attack us. I pray God will shower you with His truth these next days to counteract the lies you've heard.
Blessings to you, dear Angi!
Bless your heart.
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